There is a blogger that I have been following for some time now. I came across her years ago when she was featured on another website created to help and encourage women while in the midst of their singleness. While reading her post, she mentioned something that really convicted me. She wrote that she had reached a point in her life where she was beginning to prepare herself to be alone because she struggled with seeing a relationship for her in the future. I paused when I read that because her words felt so familiar. While I deeply desire to find the one who will compliment me, and who I will compliment in return, I often find myself pushing that want to the side to embrace my current reality and believe that this will be my future. I have not only been prepping myself to be alone, I have been prepping myself for loneliness.
Being alone does not scare me as much as being lonely. I think there is good, and beauty and purpose in being alone. And honestly, I feel like I live by the saying “I can do bad all by myself”. While I do desire a relationship, I have peace in my alone. I would never want to settle solely to say that I have someone. However, the potential for a future of loneliness if I do not find “the one” is what causes me anxiety.
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your request be made known to God.
This is probably one of my favorite verses when I am worried about something. But I m realizing that I do not use this verse often when I am worried about never marrying. If you didn’t know (because I definitely did not) supplication means “to ask or beg for something earnestly or humbly”. All throughout scripture, God makes it known that he wants us to cast our cares on to Him. I can only think that this is because He loves us and He knows that there are plenty of things in this world that will cause our hearts to weigh heavy with fears, doubts and pain. When I take the time to express my desires and worries to God, He does not promise to instantly change my season to the outcome that I want in the time that I want it. But, He does promise to give me a peace that will surpass all understanding.
By faith, I will continue to pray for the marriage and family that I desire because God is good.
And by faith, I will rest in His peace that if those things do not happen God is still good.
I will not prep for a future of loneliness.