I’ll be honest and say that while I sometimes find myself hiding behind the makeup that I enjoy putting on every morning, I do feel more comfortable without it. There is something extremely freeing in knowing that the “me” I am presenting is the “me” without any filters. Without any false narratives that are working to lead people into believing that I am something that I am not. My problem: these so called “comfortable” moments often come when I am behind closed doors with no plans to enter the public eye. And this, I realize, is where my own individual discomfort resides in my fairly dependent and often times insecure use of makeup; that someone will fall in love with a version of me that I created, and not the version of me that God created.
With enough makeup, smooth filters and the right amount of confidence, anyone can reach this world’s Hollywood standard of beauty. But if the confidence wipes away with the fake eyelashes and fancy filters, I’ll know that it was never real. I don’t have time for false confidence. With the way this world flip flops, I have to be firm in the way that I see and believe in myself. I don’t want to live with the fear that I attracted a guy during a “snatched” makeup day only to fear the moment he will see me without my makeup. I need the person and the confidence that I present to the world, with blushed cheeks and concealed blemishes, to be the same person, with an even greater amount of confidence, with bare lips and dark spots.
From this day forward I’ll be working on developing a real confidence in the beauty that only I own with no help from products or compliments. The natural beauty that God has given me. I’ll still wear makeup, but I will hold it loosely. I’ll still accept compliments (lol), but I won’t allow them to overpower the compliments that I give myself, and the reassurance that God has already spoken over me in His Word.
“You are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.”
Song of Songs 4: 7